Five more days until we board a plane for China and return with one more passenger. People ask me how I’m doing, and I honestly don’t know. It’s SO CLOSE now and feels something like an out-of-body experience. I keep working. I slowly pack our bags. Run to the store to get one more thing that I forgot last time. Make lists. Cross things off the lists. Read to my kids. Watch mindless TV. Gather the important documents we need to take. Do another load of laundry.

But my heart isn’t here.

IMG_0777I have moments of fear, anxiety about the future, excitement, wondering how our lives will change. We have a very realistic view of adoption. It will be HARD. There will be trauma. We will be taking our little boy away from everything that he knows and is familiar with, so it’s not going to be an easy transition. We know this and are trying to be as prepared as possible.

We also feel like he is already part of our family, and we love him with all of our hearts. Whatever the transition looks like, we will be there for him. The kids are so excited to have a new brother that they have been hearing about for two years. They are getting impatient, and I’m not sure that they believe it’s actually going to happen.

I am tightly holding on to God’s promises. This verse was on my mind first thing this morning:

Do not be afaid with photo

We know that God led on us this adoption path, and he goes before us, urging us not to fear and to TRUST in Him. His Grace will be enough.

March 20, 2015 — Aimee Weaver