November 19, 2012

I’ve been feeling so…..blank lately. Just blank. Like I have nothing to say or offer. I put one foot in front of the other and just keep going.
And every night I am so thankful for tomorrow. To start fresh. A new beginning. 
I realize now more than ever that I’m not in control of everything. And that is all right with me. I think it’s exactly where God wants me to be. Relying on Him more than myself. Acknowledging that I need His help every single day. If things go wrong, it is not the end of the world. And if it is the end of the world…well, God’s in charge of that, too.

Stepping out in faith – knowing that I don’t have it all together. I don’t have everything figured out. And that’s ok.

We had our first family night without my mother-in-law. And it felt surreal. I kept thinking, “She just HAS to still be here.” I think we are still in shock, and it will take time to get used to the idea that we’ll never see her again on this earth.

My in-law’s house has HER written all over it. The glass baskets that she collected, all the pretty things that she loved, the purple bathroom, the pictures on the fridge, the food on the counter…they all are a GIANT reminder of HER. And it just seems impossible that she’s not there.

We grieve, but we have hope.

Thanks for letting me ramble.

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